Sunday, September 30,
didnt have a vagina birth!
Ok so turns out I didn’t die. and my kid is here healthy as hell. I seriously cannot explain what a feeling it is to be a mom and to love something more then the whole world. He came by C-section which was cool so my vagina didn’t get ripped into half but my tummy did. Apparently the kids head was to big to go thru my pelvic bones and also that apparently the kid never”dropped”..Which is crazy because I had WALKED my ass off to get that kid to come out. I was a freaken hysterical mess tho when the doc was telling me about the shot that they were gonna put in my spine to get me numb I seriously wanted to die.. they laughed at me as they opened the back of my robe only to see a nice huge arraignment of tattoos…the nurse then stated “what the hell? Id be more scared of tattoos then this needle” turns out that she was right,, so here is where the scary ass part came in. when they made my body all numb….i couldn’t breathe! I swear to god I was in pure terror. I seriously cannot ever fathom wanting to have that feeling ever to come back.. well worth the fact that I didn’t feel the cutting of my flesh.. But dude to not feel that u are breathing and that u are slowly suffocating even when u are not is a helpless feeling,. Nels was by my side the whole time holding my hand..I was begging him to tell the doctors that I couldn’t breathe.. u could tell it was freaking him out too becuz there was nothing that he could do but tell me that he loved me.. finally my doc pulls this pasty baby boy out of stretch mark ridden tummy and showed him to me and for that one moment ..it was like a scene out a freaken movie.. I didn’t care that I couldn’t breathe.. I just stared at him.. and was in awe.. dude I finally have him..and now im totally complete …and P.S my baby has some HUGE balls..
3:55 PM
